RELIEF IS IN SITE!

An expansion project of the restrooms facilities at J.P. Butler that began three years ago nears completion in time for the 2010 Spring Season.  Designed by KDC Associates of Midland the project called for the construction of a new men’s facility and converting the existing men’s unit into an additional women’s unit.  MSA dedicated $25,000 towards this project and then submitted matching funds grants to both our parent organization, North Texas State Soccer Association and to the City of Midland.  In July 2007, NTSSA awarded $20,000 and October 2007 the City of Midland awarded $25,000.  The original bids came in at over $110,000, well over budget.  With some innovative thinking by Parks and Recreation Director Scott Swigart, City of Midland construction crews preformed the basic construction items allowing the project to be completed with the available funds.  The project expands the women’s facilities from 2 stalls to 5 and men’s facilities from 1 stall and 2 urinals to 2 stalls and 3 urinals and both are now ADA compliant.

GO EASY ON THE ADVICE

       The last thing your child is likely to want when she is feeling down after a tough loss is to hear you talk for the whole car ride home about what she did wrong or could have done right.  Think for a second about what you want when you’re feeling down.  Do you want someone to explain to you how shouldn’t be disappointed?  Do you want someone to list everything you did to bring disappointment upon yourself?  Or do you want them to just be with you and accept how you’re feeling?

    Too often sports advice feels better for the parent who is giving it than for the young athlete who has to hear it.  Although parental advice is most often given out of love, the child can experience it as undermining, as giving the message, “You don’t know how to figure things out, so I’ll figure them out for you.”   Instead of trying to fix their lives with all of our well-intended advice, we need to be patient enough to let them fix their own lives, as well as patient enough to realize that some things can’t-and don’t need to-be fixed.

    You might also discover that the less of a need you have to constantly be giving advice, the more likely your children might be to ask for it.  Timing and receptivity are everything when it comes to learning.  As a parent, you have to trust that your child has sought you out as a teacher in the past and will continue to do so again and again as needed.  An important thing to keep in mind is that they might be much more inclined to learn by watching you than by just listening to what you have to say.

Reprinted with permission from WIN OR LOSE A Guide to Sports Parenting by Dan Saferstein, Ph.D.

To order the complete book visit http://www.dansaferstein.com/

THINK MATH

Most of us have an easier time being math parents than we do being sports parents.  We don’t stand over our children as they’re doing their homework, hollering at them to round to the highest decimal or carry their zero.  We trust that they’ll be able to figure things out on their own, and if they can’t, they’ll get the help they need from their teachers or by asking us.

What a lot of sports parents seem to forget is that young athletes also need the same space to figure things out on their own.  They need to learn how to think and make decisions during game situations, which isn’t easy to do when your parent (or someone else’s parents) is shouting out directions. 

The reality is that if your child could score a goal or stop a defender, he would. In most cases, telling your child to move faster to the ball is like telling him to be taller.  Effort isn’t the only critical factor in sports, or in math.  Some children will never be the high-level athletes no matter how hard they try, which is by no mean a tragedy.  The world doesn’t need more gymnastics, softball, or soccer stars.  It needs more young people who are willing to try and make our world a better place.

Reprinted with permission from WIN OR LOSE A Guide to Sports Parenting by Dan Saferstein, Ph.D.

To order the complete book visit http://www.dansaferstein.com/

LISTEN TO YOURSELF IN THE STANDS

     One of my children’s soccer coaches met with the parents before the season and said that the only thing he wants us to be shouting out to his players during the games was, “Go Wolves!”  He didn’t even want us to say “nice pass,” since he wasn’t confident that all of us knew what qualified as a nice pass.  His point was that he didn’t want the sidelines to get too crowded with self-appointed coaches.   He wanted us to just be parents, preferably quiet parents.

     A lot of parents get caught up in being spectators and seem to forget they are at a youth sporting event.  They yell and scream as if they are at a Red Wings hockey game, cheering for their favorite professional athletes.  Needless to say, it can be an intoxicating experience to watch our children competing successfully in their sports, but for their sake, and for the sake of their teammates, we need to keep perspective.  We need to remind ourselves that there aren’t really and do-or-die games, that life will go on pretty much the same no matter how tough the loss.

    
     As a parent, you should never forget that you are at your children’s sporting events to support them: they aren’t there to perform for you.  The last thing your kids need when they are on the field is to hear you advertising all your frustrations, both with them and with yourself.  If you are ever in doubt about what to say in the stands, you can always follow the simple adage: if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all.

Reprinted with permission from WIN OR LOSE A Guide to Sports Parenting by Dan Saferstein, Ph.D.

To order the complete book visit http://www.dansaferstein.com/

Soccer for Kids Builds Character, Teamwork & Physical Fitness

Getting your kids to develop good physical fitness habits can never start too early.  Soccer is a great way to keep your kids active and learn about teamwork and sportsmanship that helps build character for their lives ahead.  When first starting your children in a soccer program, it would be a good idea for you as a parent to think about a few very important things, such as… What do you want your kids to accomplish?  How do you define success?  How can I have a positive influence on my child’s experience?

We often find ourselves as parents getting caught up in the emotional drama that unfolds on the field.  A referee’s call, and opponent’s aggressive style of play, or a disagreement with a coaching decision can stir emotions that we haven’t felt in years.  We all want to see our children succeed, but one parent’s definition of success may be different than another’s.  Many parents define success in win/loss records.  Others define it by skill improvement.  Still others define it as “giving it your best.”  In soccer, especially at young ages, it may be best to define it by how much FUN the kids are having.  If they are having fun, they will continue to play.  If they continue to play, they will have more opportunity to learn more skills, improve, and win more games.  If they aren’t having fun, they may not come back next season.

As parents, we play a significant role in molding our children to become good soccer citizens.  Below are a few guidelines for parents to observe to ensure the fun-factor is running high and character is at the forefront:
 
1.Understand the rules.  Soccer is a contact sport with rules just like football or basketball.  Know the rules and you will have a better spectator experience.

2.Unless you are willing to don the uniform, leave the rule enforcement to the referees.  Verbal disagreement does nothing to change the outcome, but it does put a damper on fun!

3.Allow the coaches to “coach.”  Don’t give instructions to the kids during games or practices.  They have enough pressure to deal with already.

4.Support your coach.  Many of them don’t have soccer experience..  Some may simply have a child in the game just like you and have volunteered their time to give to the club.

5.Volunteer your services.  Water, ice, and snacks are always needed for half time and after the game.

6.Cheer at all the matches within the spirit of fair play, regardless of the outcome of the game.  Compliment players from both teams who make good plays.

7.Allow players to make mistakes - this is when they learn.

8.Reward and encourage effort, not just wins/losses.

9.Sit back, relax, and enjoy the game!
 
It is often hard to remember a list of do’s and don’ts.  So if you remember nothing else, remember that parents positively influence children’s memories and experiences in soccer.  You can set the tone for a healthy lifestyle by setting a positive example at every match.  Healthy kids become healthy adults and with the cost of health insurance today, it pays to have a good health history.

Reprinted with permission 2/2009.

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